There were nights when I needed to be drunk
to kiss you. When shame dictated
I was ignorant to the words I whispered
intoxicated off sleeplessness.
There were days when we pretended
to be strangers in overpopulated congregations
only to return intruders in our own lives
unrecognisable beings in familiar sheets.
There is an emptiness I feel when I see you smile,
clouds of complacent apathy
that I know wouldn’t be there
If any of this was true.
But there are also nights
When hard weather falls on soft minds
The rain drenching us free from imagination
Leaving only the tremors of heartstrings
Playing the symphony of your laughter
And the poetry of my tears
There are nights when my body explodes
Into fragments of existentialism
And you question why I need to find answers
To problems that don’t exist
Grounding me home
To the reality in my arms
The scarlet ash your hair burns on my forearms
The infinite delight I found
The first time you called me, yours.